A few times I was asked about my current status, I always had a ready answer:
I am single and loving it.
Don't get me wrong. I am not romanticizing the idea of watching the sunset solo on my rocking chair. Nor do I intend to completely abandon my aspiration of raising adorable and smart kids with a good husband. It's just that I am enjoying the state of life I have at the moment, no ifs no buts.
Some people, especially my friends from outside of Ligaya ng Panginoon (a Catholic community where I am a member of), find it weird that I am still not into a relationship of sorts. The "what-is-wrong-with-you?" banter used to be a staple whenever love life issues crop up in conversations. As if I am the one who caused global warming! My relatives too would often rib me if they have to wait for doomsday before tasting the proverbial "mainit na sabaw" in my wedding banquet. To counter such terrorist-like attacks I have come up with this killer line: Is it a crime to be single and happy? That sends them to peace as they respond with a resounding “no.” Case closed.
Being single is a gift and not a curse. It's sad when others associate it with the latter because that is totally missing the point. So what if you're tucked in the world of singledom? I can't think of any person who is deprived of sunlight just because he/she is single. On the contrary, this is the best time when one can have as much opportunities to enjoy the sun, literally and figuratively. Hey, you only have yourself to take care of might as well max out the fun while you can.
I understand that many single people nowadays don't smile much because they're busy looking for that supposedly one piece of the jigsaw puzzle which can make them whole. It reminds me of Carrie Bradshaw's line in one of the television episodes of Sex and the City: “As we speed along this endless road to the destination called who we hope to be, I can’t help but whine, ‘Are we there yet?’” Getting fixated on what is not there robs you of the chance to experience the bliss of the now. It doesn’t hurt if we stop and smell the roses, does it?
Being single actually has many benefits married people could only yearn and love to trade places for. Freedom thrives. Since you don’t have a husband/wife or kids to attend to, spending countless moments with God is never a luxury. Mobility comes easy as you can go anywhere anytime without having to ask permission from anyone. You make intelligent decisions and if things don’t work out, the only casualty is yourself. You can shift careers, learn new sports or craft, go for what you are passionate about, explore the world, discover yourself….and the list could go on. These can hardly be done if one is tied with the responsibility that comes with marriage.
Singlehood is a path one should learn to love before moving on to the next. Hopefully it is just a temporary stop, a transition point as we get ready for bigger things ahead. The duration of your stay though depends on how you embrace the kind of life you have as a single person. It goes without saying there’s also a possibility that you will be stuck by choice or by circumstance. But whether or not “the right one” you are waiting for comes along to get you out from this state, you still have choice to live a full life no matter what. It happens when it happens, it comes when comes.
My mantra comes from Paulo Coelho’s “Love Your Path”—the path doesn’t last forever. It’s a blessing to travel the path for some time, but one day it will come to an end, so be prepared to take a leave of it at any moment.
When my time is up, I wish to be ready to go for another state of life with bated breath. Only God can tell the proper timing. But as I wait, I am dead set to have a blast for now as a single person and absolutely loving it.